How can you have a peaceful party and still invite family and friends that are divorced or no longer seeing each other? It is easier to meet people at any average casino parties in Denver but never at a nice birthday party. Most children’s parties are venues that re-acquaint your loved ones with former spouses. Reuniting “exes” is not the object of the invite, but some “exes” feel pressure just seeing their former mate. Be prepared for one or both to turn down the invitation.
To truly avoid any drama at your child’s birthday party, invite children only. If your child is an infant or toddler this may be a problem. The primary caregiver will probably attend. Remember the party is for your child and not for the adults. Do not worry about one family member or friend being there or being “invited” without the other. You are only inviting children to your child’s birthday party.
When sending invitations to divorcees, follow up with a phone call. Give the “exes” the courtesy of knowing whether the other one is coming or not. Let them know the party is not meant to make them uncomfortable, but you would appreciate their presence for your child’s sake.
Set up at least two areas for your child’s party. You could have chairs indoors and on the porch or you could use two rooms of your house if desired. This will make the “exes” feel more secure. Let the divorced or separated couple know they would not have to sit in the same room with each other. Remind them you are not asking them to talk to each other. Let the “exes” know you want them there and they do not need to interact.
Avoid any drama from the “exes” by introducing rules when doing a follow up phone call. The list of rules should include no bickering. If you know they fight, tell them they are not allowed to talk to each other. Make sure you include “no ribbing” in your list of rules. They should not be allowed to pester one another. Be sure to remind them they will be coming to celebrate the child’s birthday. Let them know in advance if one or both of them “act up” at the party, you will ask them to leave.
Most divorcees will have gotten rid of their pettiness by the end of the divorce. If the “exes” are still being petty, be prepared to ask them to leave. This is your child’s birthday party and you are in charge. If you do not want drama, you may want to make it a child’s only party, or just a few friends. You could hold two parties if you would like everyone included. Invite one “ex” at a time and the child will not only have a peaceful party, but also two fun parties with their family.
